Is ignorance bliss? I don’t know, but it’s so painful to think.ĭoes that make you angry? That he left? That you don’t know why? I didn’t have to invent a thing.ĭoes it break my heart, of course, ever moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of. Sometimes people who seem good end up not being not as good as you might have hoped, you know?īeing with him made my brain quiet. It’s that I believe that things are extremely complicated. The only thing more painful than being an active forgetter is to be an inert rememberer.Įvery love is carved from loss. We stood next to each other because that is what friends do in the presence of evil or love. What good is all of that love doing on paper? I said, let love write on you for a little. The more you love someone, the harder it is to tell them. She was the only one who could rightly claim to know him, the only one he missed when she was not there, and missed even before she was absent. You couldn’t be something that hundreds of others are. I imagine hundreds of men have called their loves wonderful today, and its only noon. You were always afraid of saying the wrong thing, and usually it felt befitting not to say anything at all.īecause so many girls are wonderful. It was such a difficult time with talking. He knew that it is, by love’s definition, impossible to love two people. He knew that doing right often means feeling wrong, and if you find yourself feeling wrong, you’re probably doing right. She was so beautiful, like someone who you will never meet, but always dream of meeting, like someone who is too good for you. I am afraid of the world moving forward without me, of my absence going unnoticed, or worse, being some natural force propelling life on. Love me, because love doesn’t exist, and I have tried everything that does. The bruises go away, and so does how you hate, and so does the feeling that everything you receive in this life is something you have earned. The only thing worse than being sad is for other to know that you are sad.

Everything is illuminated book review